Friday, September 30, 2005

I am no HTML genius

So feel free to make fun of my posting below. Obviously I couldn't find a way to make it look 'not-god-awful'. So sue me. What little I did made it look worlds apart. So be thankful.

Are you as funny as I?

the Wit

(66% dark, 38% spontaneous, 10% vulgar)

your humor style:

You like things edgy, subtle, and smart. I guess that means you're
probably an intellectual, but don't take that to mean pretentious. You
realize 'dumb' can be witty--after all isn't that the Simpsons'
philosophy?--but rudeness for its own sake, 'gross-out' humor and most
other things found in a fraternity leave you totally flat.

I guess you just have a more cerebral approach than most. You have
the perfect mindset for a joke writer or staff writer.

Your sense of humor takes the most thought to appreciate,
but it's also the best, in my opinion.

PEOPLE LIKE YOU: Jon Stewart - Woody Allen - Ricky Gervais

My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 86% on darkness
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 29% on spontaneity
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 1% on vulgarity

Link: The 3 Variable Funny Test written by jason_bateman on Ok Cupid

Thursday, September 29, 2005

Tom Delay and the Nationwide Conspiracy to Indict him

So I'm going to talk about what made me smile for most of the day. Tom Delay was indicted today. What I thought was really interesting though was that Tom Delay doesn't seem to realize that Law and Order is a pretty popular show. He came out and said that this was all a political witchhunt from a political hack. He was referring of course to the D.A. Now, if he had known that Law and Order was a popular show (perhaps he should sit down with Fred Thompson), then he also would have known that most of Americans understand how grand juries operate. They don't inidict someone unless there's evidence to do so. That being said Mr. Delay should go around saying that this is a political witchhunt by a judicial system in his home state (and district).

My money is on Delay in the end though. I be he's going to wiggle out of this one and get the case thrown out of court. I will point out though that last year the Hammer won his district 55-45. This is a small margin for a Majority Leader (Republican) in Texas. His margin of victory shrunk mostly because of his own redistricting plan. He was quite selfless(?) by giving up some of his conservative base to make sure that democrats wouldn't be re-elected. Looking back on this choice, he's probably kicking himself. What's important here isn't whether or not the Hammer is thrown in jail. It's that you now have; Iraq, Katrina, FEMA, Abramoff, Schiavo, spending out the @$$, and three days of newspapers that have the word 'Inictment' in them. Mr. Delay, your days are quite clearly numbered. If you were a nicer man I would say that I felt badly, but you're not so I won't.

Thursday, September 22, 2005

Meditation On...

On those annoying "Support our Troops" bumper magnets. I have a multitude of reasons why these are annoying. First, if I don't have one, do I not support the troops? What if I don't own a car and have no place to display such patriotism, am I a commie? Second, why magnets? Is that so when the war is over we can stop supporting them? Where were the 'support our troops' masses before the wars? Are they sort of like 2005 season Red Sox fans? Where were these magnets made? I bet they were made in China. Lastly, it's good to be supportive of our armed forces, they do a job that most of us don't want to think about. However, let's not mistake patriotism for nationalism. Also, let's not mistake true support of Americans (military or not) for magnets that say "support our troops".

Sunday, September 11, 2005

Things that will get you punched in the face pt. 1

Calling me; Chief, Buddy or Big Guy. If you do not know my name, do not use a substitute.

Saturday, September 10, 2005

Where to start?

So again, it's been a while. No real reason this time except that I've been busy. I would like to point out however that FEMA "director" Michael Brown has been removed from Louisiana and is in the process of being fired. However the bush administration is blowing this opportunity as well. They've had so many recently, and they've blown each of them. Instead of just firing him, they've removed him to D.C. where he can't actively hurt anyone. Instead they've put him in charge of planning for future hurricanes. Isn't that a little like keeping a kid after school to finish the homework he didn't do the night before? Combine that with the no-bid, non-competitive wages contractors they're going with and you have an idea of how this week has been for the bush administration. They're failing to convert more save opportunities than Mariano Rivera in April.

So I went back into the office again for one day this week which brings my total days of being a Federal Employee/ Appointee to 13. Win introduced me to the Congresswoman as a "Contractor". I wanted to say something partisan along the lines of "Does that mean I don't have to do any more work and I can overcharge your office?" But I'm much smarter/ nicer than that. It was a great opportunity that he gave me and I'm grateful for it. At some point in your life you will come across a boss who will look out for you even after you've stopped working for him/her and you'll know how nice a thing this is then.

I also worked way too many hours at the restaurant. Just a couple of observations about that. First, I am not a happy camper when people aren't being team players. Second, I do not react well to being shouted at (especially when they're telling me to do something and they're sitting on their ass.) Third, I am a waiter not your servant, if you'd like something done a simple 'please' and 'thank you' will get it done faster/ better than a 'do it'. Since when did common courtesy and respect go out the door in the work place?

I guess that's about it. My hope is that we see Michael's Brown and Chertoff fired within the next week or so, but I doubt it. Tomorrow I'm off to a Zydeco (apparently it's pronounced Z-I-Dek-O) concert. I'll let y'all know how that goes.

Saturday, September 03, 2005


So I've been MIA for a little while. I think that I was taking unspoken direction from other bloggers, trying not to say anything about what happened on the gulf coast because there's so much to say.

I went around this week saying two things; 1st that Mayor Nagin was not going to win the Rudy award for leadership - I was wrong. He deserves a great deal of respect for what he is doing and my heart goes out to him. 2nd that I sympathized with the people of New Orleans, but not that much because they knew what could happen and they did nothing to stop it. I was wrong. They did try to stop it and their funding got cut in order to pay for the ongoing war in Iraq.

What I am saying now is this. FEMA Director Michael Brown should be fired. He should be fired and it should be tonight, right now, this very minute. Under his direction things are going to hell. 1st Army Lt. General Honore (a John Wayne dude) should be given every medal under the sun. He should be given a raise, he should be honored as a true hero. Under his direction things are coming together and he's working damn hard to help people. FEMA itself should be rebuilt from the ground up after this is over. Their structure is too organized for its own good. Sending supplies to Louisiana en masse, then redistributing it to parishes then to towns then to FEMA centers takes too long, way too long. Send it straight to where it's needed. The whole of Louisiana doesn't need help, only certain areas. Northern Command, just 3 years old, is a blessing. This command structure, set up after 9-11, had resources prepositioned for after the hurricane. They did what FEMA should have done and are still DOING what FEMA should be.

On Thursday I went into the office and a woman walked in. She was obviously well off (financialy speaking), and she started going off about everything that wasn't going right. I wanted to tell her; "do something, do anything. Donate money, time, energy. Do anything except for what you're doing right now." Maybe she has, I don't know, I didn't stick around to listen to her. I went and e-mailed the Alexandria Red Cross to see if there was any way for me to get down to the coast to help. After I e-mailed them I started to think about how impossible this might be. In a completely selfish way, I still don't have a job, I have to pay rent and bills and I have no health insurance. If I were to get sick with whatever plague-ish diseases are going around down there I would be bankrupt. I woke up this morning looking around my room, wondering what I should pack. What would I need to bring with me. By the time I had gotten back into the office I had changed my mind once again. Now watching TV at 1:00am I'm thinking about what I should pack again.

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