Saturday, October 15, 2005

Metro Riders

The other day I noticed that Metro has these new signs up in their cars. They have definitions of different types of riders. Often, it seems, they have just taken two words and put them together ie. doorker (noun) - one who blocks the door. I thought that was lame. There are waaaay better words you can come up with for these definitions. So I decided to do so here.

DipS#!t: one who stands to the left on the escalator, instead of walking like you're supposed to.
Douchebag: one who sits on the outside and then doesn't get up when it's your stop.
A$$monkey: The guy who talks on his nextel walkie talkie on the metro.
That really annoying chick: That chick who, no matter what time of day it is, screams and sings at an unnecessary volume.
Pig-F$%ker: Someone who walks slowly, and then instead of getting out of the way, walks right down the middle of the platform so you can't get around them without risking decapitation.
S#!t-head: Someone who eats on the metro.

So there's my list so far. I bet you thought I would mention my beloved red sox's loss to the stupid white sox the other day. But you know what? I'm not gonna say anything. Except that I had to buy a new hat. The old one had all it's luck used up last year.


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