Thursday, February 02, 2006


So the title of this blog has a double meaning, first; it's really late right now, second; this is what's been happening lately.

On January 1st, the restaurant I had been working at closed for good leaving me once again out of work. This had a sort of ironic/deja vu style to it since it had only been a year before that the Congressional office I was working in closed. Since then I have been working to find a new job, sending out resumes, calling friends who have jobs and asking them about leads, so on and so forth. Last week I was setup with a phone interview for a big company. It went well and so last friday I had an actual interview. I thought this went well also, you can see the post about the pre-interview jitters below. Then on tuesday I got a call from the temp agency that was acting as a head-hunter informing me that I didn't get the job. That was the big cliffhanger, did I or didn't I get the job. I didn't. So now just as before it's back to square one. I feel like I build myself up by sending out resumes and I reach so close when I get an interview. Then when I hear back I ultimately get knocked back down. It's been a year and 3 months now and I've been out of work for all of it.

There is only so much, 'keep at it', 'you'll get something soon' or 'you totally deserve a job' that one can take before they start asking themselves questions. Am I truly that unemployable? I have broadened my job search so that there are things I am applying to now that I wouldn't even want to do. Things that would make me cringe when the alarm clock goes off in the morning and still I get no call backs, no indication whatsoever. I have resumes on monster, hotjobs,, and all I get are job openings for Iraq and temp agencies that have placed fake ads. I've reached a breaking point.

That is why tonight, I am up so late. It is also why I found this. If I hadn't been up so late I wouldn't have been going through the archives of blogs that I enjoy reading. I wouldn't have seen a link to a blog I've never read before, and I wouldn't have seen his linkage to what I read 3 times tonight. Most people can't remember who their graduation speaker is, or what they said (I certainly don't), but I have a feeling that you would remember this graduation speaker, Conan O'Brien. I also think that most people, myself included, enjoy reading commencement addresses, even if they didn't go to the school in question (in this case Harvard).

This speach was great. Telling graduates that they will indeed fail is what is needed. Telling graduates that these failures will only make them stronger, only make the good times better is what is needed.

Nobody told me how hard it was going to be leaving college. Nobody told me how scary it would be to board a train to South Carolina and ride for 36 hours to the partially unknown. Nobody told me just how damn hard it was going to be when I got to D.C. I thought I had struck it big time when I got my first (and only) hill job. I was half right. Now, instead of thinking that I will never have another job, instead of getting frustrated I can do the hard work of looking for another job, I can study for these three huge tests. I can get it done and do it well. I can overcome all of this because I know in the end I will be giving a graduation address at Harvard... well ok that's not the case but i know one thing. I like looking back on the risks I've taken, I talk about them often. What's going on now will only make the story that much better later in life. I look forward to being able to tell that story.

just in case you missed it in the post, I'll link it down here as well.

Conan O'Brien's commencement address to the Harvard class of 2000


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